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“How long were you together?”
“About a year and a half.”
“Yikes. I’m sorry.”
“It’s over.” He shrugged. “But yeah, it wasn’t a good split.”
“You ever see Tanya again?” she asked quietly.
“Not since that night at the party.” He shook his head. “She called during the summer, but I didn’t answer. What about you? You still in touch with anyone?”
“Not really.”
“Not even Kaylee? You were inseparable.”
“She’s got her own life. She dropped out of school last year and moved to New York.”
“What’s she doing there?”
“Trying to get into fashion. She was working for a magazine the last time I talked to her.”
“When was that?”
“Almost six months ago.” She took a sip of her drink. “Have you heard from Trey?”
His face fell, and he looked at the table as he was hit with a wave of emotions.
“Clay?”
“He died, last year.”
“What?”
“He was on deployment. He was killed in action last October.”
“I’m so sorry. How did I not know about this?”
“His parents moved a few years ago, to be closer to his sister. His mom called me when it happened. They didn’t do a funeral in town or anything. Not a lot of people knew.”
“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
He paused at her question. He hadn’t really talked to Trey since he’d left for training. They’d only exchanged emails and social media messages before he’d left on deployment. They hadn’t really been friends when he’d died, but they’d been friends for almost ten years before. It still hurt to think about.
“It was a shock. It’s still hard to think about,” he said slowly.
“I’m so sorry.” She reached out and put her hand on his.
“Thanks.” He gripped her hand and shrugged. “How’s your family?”
“Good.” She let go of his hand and he noticed right away how it felt cold the moment her skin left his. He’d also noticed the slight tingle he’d felt the moment she’d touched him. “Mom and Dad are still working at the store. Dan’s doing well.”
“Dan?”
“My brother.”
“Right. I forgot you had a brother.”
“He’s older. We didn’t really get along as kids.”
“Things are better now?”
“He fell on hard times a few years ago. He lost his job and had to move home. It took him a while to get his life back in order. He’s doing really good for himself now. We’re a lot closer now that we’re older.”
“That’s good.”
“What about your mom?”
“She got married last year. He’s from Texas so she moved down there with him. She’s happy. He has a few kids so I’ve got step-siblings now.”
“Do you like them?”
“I only met them a few times. They’re in Texas with Mom and their dad, and they’re a lot younger. I really have nothing in common with them.”
“How’re your grandparents?”
“My grandpa died last year. My grandma isn’t doing so well on her own so I moved back in with her about six months ago.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“He was the only dad I really knew, and it’s tough watching her struggle. Mom worked so much Nan was really the one who was home with me when I was a kid.”
“It’s good she has you. I lost my grandparents when we were still in high school. It was hard, but I didn’t live with them. I can’t imagine how hard this must have been for you.”
He shook his head and tried to give her a smile. “Now that I’ve completely depressed you with all my issues. Sorry.”
She smiled and took another sip of her drink. “You didn’t. I’m just sorry things have been so rough for you.”
“You don’t seem like your life is all sunshine and rainbows either.”
“Not at all.” She put her cup down. “I graduated, and then I realized the real world sucks. I had to move back home and put myself further in debt trying to live. I’ve come to the realization that my education is basically an overpriced piece of paper, and the pot of gold on the other side of school is a lot farther away than I thought.”
“That’s got to be hard.”
“I envy you. Getting a trade and a good job. It really kills the self-esteem to spend months begging for work and getting rejected over and over again. Everyone wants you to have experience, but no one will actually hire you to give you the damn experience.”
“So, how about we talk about happy stuff now?” He looked into his empty cup. He wasn’t ready for the night to end, but he was out of coffee. He had a feeling she was too.
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Another coffee? See what they make for us this time around?”
“I think I’ll have to cut myself off from the caffeine. One more cup and I’ll start vibrating.”
“Yeah, I’m about at that point too.” He tried to hide his disappointment.
“You have anywhere you need to be?”
“Not tonight.”
“Want to come back to my place?”
He just stared at her. “Your parents?”
“Away for the weekend.” She grinned coyly at him, and that look sent a pulse through him that started in his spine and went right down to his groin as he felt himself start to grow hard.
“Are you asking what I think you are?”
“Are you rejecting me?” Her face fell and she looked away.
“No, not at all,” he said quickly. “I just want to make sure I’m not misinterpreting things.”
“You’re not.”
“Then yeah. Your place.”
Chapter 11
Alone, Again
AS they drove Jenna kept glancing over at Clay. Neither seemed to have anything to say, and she was wondering what she was doing.
She was lonely. She missed sex, and she missed feeling close to someone. She also missed Clay. He was familiar, and she was comfortable with him, but she was leading him on. She was leaving in a week, and her life was a mess right now. She didn’t harbor any secret wishes that he would fall for her and they would live happily ever after. She’d be happy with great sex, maybe some cuddling, and parting on good terms, for once.
She didn’t know what he was thinking. She assumed he was thinking the same as she was, and after tonight he would go back to his life while she started hers.
As she leaned back in her seat and glanced out the window, she realized this was completely out of character for her, and the excitement of it was giving her a slight rush.
She’d had three partners since their last encounter, and while two of three had been good, none had been great. She’d had one one-night stand that had been a semi-drunken mistake, one short-term boyfriend who’d actually had two other girlfriends on the side, and then Kyle. They’d been together for about eight months and they’d had a lot of sex in that time, but Kyle wasn’t very good at seduction. He’d been really focused on the main event and she’d been too shy to ask for more in the foreplay, so she’d always been left wanting. He’d also been very passive.
The first few times they’d been together he’d asked her permission before he’d done anything, and she’d thought it was wonderful. She’d felt he respected her and he was making sure she was ready and wanting it. She liked how it made her feel in control of their sex life.
Eventually he’d stopped asking and had stopped doing anything outside his normal “moves.” It was as though he had a routine. They would kiss. He would grope her breasts for a moment before rubbing his hand over her a few times. Then it was clothes off and him on top. There was no spontaneity, and there was no deviation, except when she’d been on her period and he’d expected oral sex.
At first she’d been happy to do it for
him, but when he’d never once returned the favor, not even when she’d screwed up the courage to ask for it one night before he’d started to climb over her but had stopped herself. Then there had really been no variation and no excitement.
She didn’t want formulaic sex right now. She didn’t want the kissing, the groping, and then the fucking. She wanted him to take charge and show her how much he wanted her. She wanted him to be aggressive and even a little dominant, and she wondered how to tell him.
She was shy by nature when it came to anything intimate. The thought of being rejected made her feel physically panicked. What if she told him what she wanted and he thought she was sick or perverted? Rejection would crush her, and she didn’t know if she could risk it.
As far as she could see she had two choices: she could just go with it and hope it was what she wanted, or she could be a little more assertive and maybe get what she wanted.
She was still thinking about her choices when they pulled into her driveway.
“Jenna?” he asked when she just looked at him.
“Clay?”
“Do you want this? Really want this? I’m not expecting anything here, not if you don’t want—”
She cut him off by reaching over and putting her hand on him. She had no idea where she’d gotten the courage, but she wanted him and she wanted him to know that.
He groaned softly as he started to grow hard under her hand.
“I want this, Clay. Tell me if I’m being too forward or if I’m overstepping—”
He gripped her hand and pressed it down so she could feel all of him as he went from semi-soft to rock hard under her hand.
“You’re not being bold. Just do exactly what you want. You don’t have to hold back with me.”
“Promise you won’t judge me?”
“I could never judge you.”
“Then let’s go inside.”
They climbed out of the car, and he followed her up to the house. She hoped he couldn’t see her hand shaking as she unlocked the door. She wasn’t nervous or scared. She was excited.
When they were inside she gripped his hand and led him up to her room. It wasn’t until they were inside and the door was closed she realized this would be the first time she’d had a boy in her room, and the thought was surprisingly thrilling.
She tossed her purse on the floor near the closet and turned to him.
“God, Jenna,” he said softly as he looked her up and down. “You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She felt her cheeks grow hot, and she knew she was blushing.
Slowly he reached out and pulled down the zipper of her jacket. He was looking at her with such reverence and heat she shuddered under his gaze. When her jacket was unzipped, he slowly pushed it off her shoulders so it fell on the floor.
She was just reaching to undo his jacket when he quickly unzipped it and stripped it off. Before she could say or do anything, he gathered her up in his arms and pulled her up against his body, his lips finding hers in a deep and wet kiss.
She gasped as his tongue swept into her mouth. Her arms snaked around his body as she pressed herself against him. Every inch of him was lean muscle, but he still felt soft and wonderful against her.
His hand moved to cup the side of her face as she ran her hands over his sides, just wanting to feel his strength and his body.
“What do you want?” he asked in a raspy voice as he pulled away from her, looking into her eyes. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you, and I don’t want you to be gentle with me. Not this time.”
“Jenna?”
Her courage was bolstered. She didn’t want to have yet another unsatisfying sexual encounter. She wanted him, and she wanted him to fuck her.
“Fuck me, Clay. I want you to fuck me.”
He groaned as he bent his head to catch her lips under his. She felt the change in him immediately. His hands ran over her body, pulling her close as he kissed her deeply. One hand slipped under her shirt and ran up the skin of her back as he fisted the other in her hair. He didn’t tug on the strands; he just held her still so he could kiss her.
“Oh yes,” she moaned as his lips moved to the side of her neck, even as he held her head in place.
This was what she wanted. She wanted aggression and even a little dominance.
“Take off your shirt.” He let go of her hair and pulled away from her. His eyes were heated as he looked her up and down. “I want to see you, now.”
She shuddered as she reached for the buttons on her shirt. Her hands were shaking, and she had to focus on slipping each button free as he looked at her.
When the last button was undone, she stripped off her shirt and tossed it aside. He was still staring at her, but she didn’t feel as though he was scrutinizing or judging her. He was appreciating her, and she felt her confidence grow.
He pulled off his shirt, then the T-shirt he had on underneath, and threw both aside.
He was magnificent. His chest and arms were cut and perfect. A tingle moved through her body as she imagined how his skin would feel against hers.
“Come here,” he said gruffly as he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her against his body as he started to walk her over to the bed.
When she felt her legs hit the mattress, she expected him to push her down on the bed. She didn’t expect him to scoop her up in his arms, and she squealed softly as she felt her feet leave the ground.
“I don’t want to hurt you—”
He cut her off with a kiss. The fact that he was holding her up as though she weighed no more than a basket of laundry sent a thrill through her.
After a moment he climbed up on the bed and put her down, rather gently, before climbing up over her. His lips were on hers, his hands ran over her body, and he ground himself against her as he slipped between her legs.
The friction was incredible. Even through their clothes she could feel herself getting wet as her body began to tighten.
He pulled away from her and knelt between her legs, looking down at her as he ran his hands over her body.
“Oh, Clay!” she gasped when he ran his hand between her legs, cupping her but not giving her any sort of stimulation.
He grinned at her and reached up to undo the button on her jeans. He pulled down the zipper and then reached down to unzip her boots.
She just lay back as he undressed her, lifting her hips so he could pull off her jeans. He paused when she was in only her underwear and tank top.
“Clay?”
He just shook his head and shifted so he could pull off his shoes and socks, but he didn’t move to take off his jeans.
“I want to look at you.” He turned back to her. “Take off your shirt.”
She swallowed nervously and pulled her tank top off. She still had her bra and panties on, but she was feeling very exposed and a little self-conscious.
“Your bra too.”
It took her a moment, but she reached behind her and unclasped her bra, pulling it off and tossing it to the side as she looked up at him.
By the look in his eyes he was liking what he saw, and his look put her at ease.
He hooked his thumbs in the sides of her panties and started to slide them off.
She didn’t know what he was going to do. He was still wearing his jeans, and now she was completely naked. She was about to ask him what he was thinking when he grinned at her and started to shift so he could settle between her legs.
“Clay?”
“Relax.” He looked up at her. “Let me take care of you.”
She could only watch as he bent his mouth to her. The moment his tongue touched her, she almost screamed in pleasure.
Her body tightened. An ache formed deep inside her as tendrils of pleasure spiraled out from her very core. She’d never, ever, felt anything like it before. She couldn’t control her body as it began to shake and shudder beneath him.
“Oh God…oh
fuck,” she cried out as she fisted her hand in his hair. “Yes, yes!”
She was so lost in the sensations she nearly rocketed off the bed when he slipped two fingers inside her. The waves of pleasure that were washing over her doubled in intensity, and she screamed when he started to move them in and out of her body, pacing them with his tongue.
“Oh fuck…oh fuck!” Her body tightened to a point that was almost painful, and she didn’t know if she could take it anymore. “Oh yes!”
She came in an explosion. It was the strongest orgasm she’d ever experienced, and she just let go as her body shook and writhed. She knew she was screaming, but she had no idea what she was saying, and she didn’t care.
The waves just washed over her, and he didn’t stop until she jerked away from him. She was so sensitive it felt as though he was touching her with a live wire. It was too much.
He moved over her body, pressing against her as she continued to shake. When the pleasure finally passed, she just lay on the bed, dazed and tingling.
“Oh God…oh my God, Clay.” She shook her head as she looked up at him. “Wow.”
He grinned down at her as he gave her a sweet and soft kiss.
“Wow,” she repeated.
“Are you okay?”
“Better than okay. Holy shit.”
He grinned again and kissed her deeply.
She felt so satisfied and wonderful, but she wanted more. She tried to put her desires into her kiss, to tell him she wanted more from him. He seemed to understand.
She watched as he sat back and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a wallet and thumbed out a condom. Grinning at her he tossed the wallet aside and threw the condom on the bed next to her. She watched as he stripped off his pants, and her breath caught when she realized he wasn’t wearing any underwear.
He was just as perfect and magnificent as she remembered. She just watched as he ripped open the condom and rolled it on.
“Do you still want me to fuck you? Tell me now if you need something different, Jen.”
“Yes, fuck me.” She nodded as she propped herself up on her elbows.
He groaned and lay over her, sliding between her legs as he pressed her down into the mattress. She felt him against her hip and a jolt of pleasure rushed through her as she imagined how he would feel when he was inside her.