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He went out. He wasn’t a recluse, but he never seemed to meet quality people. He was twenty years old and he worked sixty-hour weeks, but he didn’t make a lot of extra money. Most of the women he met were happy he had a job, but not so happy with the wage he made, and they didn’t like how he wasn’t available to be at their beck and call.
He missed talking with someone. He missed having someone to lean on and someone he could just relax with. He’d had girlfriends, but he’d never had someone he would consider a partner.
He had a habit of settling for whomever seemed interested, was attractive, and put the effort in to showing him she wanted him. He liked aggressive and overt girls, and that was part of the problem. They might be aggressive with their flirting and in bed, but they were also aggressive in their daily interactions. They tended to want to be in charge. He didn’t like giving up his control, so there was always confrontation.
He didn’t want to fight with someone all the time. He wanted to actually look forward to seeing his girlfriend or having a conversation where he didn’t have to worry about getting yelled at or blamed for stupid things that had nothing to do with him. But he didn’t meet those kinds of girls, so he settled for what he could find.
“You drive like my grandmother.”
“Classy.”
“You really want to have that attitude right now?” she asked as she looked over at him. “You really want to start the night like that?”
He didn’t say anything; he just gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and focused on driving. He didn’t want to fight right now. It just wasn’t worth it.
It didn’t take long to reach the party, and he was glad when he saw it seemed to be relatively low-key. There weren’t a ton of cars around, and there weren’t nearly as many people as he’d expected. That was a good thing. He didn’t dislike crowds, but he wasn’t in the mood to be in a crowd of people he hadn’t seen for almost two years.
As they headed into the house, he checked out everyone he passed. There weren’t a lot of extra people around. It looked as though the word hadn’t gotten out on this party, at least not yet.
When they were inside the house he put the six-pack of coolers he’d brought with him between his knees and took off his jacket, waiting for Tanya to hand hers over to him. There wasn’t a lot of place to put them. There was a pile on the stairs blocking the way up, so he just tossed their coats onto the pile and glanced around.
It was then his eyes fell on someone he never expected to see, and as Jenna looked over, his eyes locked with hers. It was as though time stood still for a moment.
She looked exactly the same. Her hair was a little longer, and she’d put layers in it so the cut was a little different. She was wearing skinny jeans, which looked incredible on her. Her shirt skimmed her body instead of clinging to it. She looked beautiful, and he felt his body tighten as he held her gaze.
Her eyes went from surprised to shocked as she looked at him, and there was something else mixed in there that he couldn’t quite read.
He’d never expected to see her again, but he couldn’t lie to himself. There had been a part of him that had been hoping she would be there, and that he would get a chance to talk to her. Even if it was just to see how she was doing, and if she still hated him.
She was still the same Jenna he remembered, and he felt a tug in his body that had nothing to do with arousal. It was almost as though he felt a sort of instant connection with her. That couldn’t be possible after all this time and only looking at her, could it?
“Really?”
He was jarred out of his reverie by the disapproving voice at his side.
“What?”
“We’ve been here for ten second and you zero in on the ice queen? I thought you were over that mistake.”
“I told you before, Tanya. I’m never going to justify my past to you, and I’m not going to let you talk shit about me or my past.”
“I’m not talking shit about you. I’m talking shit about your virginal skank.”
“Tanya—”
“Come on.” She grabbed one of the drinks out of the six pack and looked up at him. “I don’t want to fight with you. Let’s have a drink, talk to some people, and enjoy the party.”
He glanced back at Jenna and saw she was deep in conversation with Kaylee. He couldn’t be sure, but he had a feeling at least part of the conversation was to avoid looking at him—if it wasn’t about him, that was.
“Sure.” He nodded and pulled one of the bottles out of the six-pack and put the box on the floor for a moment so he could twist off the top. He handed the bottle to Tanya and took the one she was holding, twisting it open and tossing both caps into the box. “Lead the way,” he added as he stood up, picking the box up as he did.
She just gave him a dazzling smile and nodded for him to follow her. Thankfully she went to the left and avoided the living room. He wanted to talk to Jenna, but he didn’t want to do it with Tanya at his side. He would have to find a way to talk to her before she left. It might be the only chance he had to see her.
Chapter 6
Getting The Party Started
“JENNA, Jenna?”
Kaylee’s loud and slightly panicked voice broke through her shock, and she was able to pull her eyes away from Clay.
“Jen? Are you okay?”
“Fine,” she managed to mumble as she shook her head, trying to stop her mind from going a million miles an hour as the reality of everything hit her all at once.
Clay was here. He was at the party. He was there at the party, and he was with Tanya.
She hadn’t been ready to see him, but she hadn’t realized just how unprepared she was.
Seeing him had brought on such a strong wave of emotions that she’d had a hard time deciphering any of them. But when her eyes had locked with his, the overwhelming feeling was guilt.
The second strongest was longing, and that shocked her almost as much as seeing him hovering in the doorway of the house.
She’d expected to feel a lot. She’d expected to have mixed emotions, but she’d never thought she would have such a visceral reaction. She’d never expected her body to react to him so strongly.
He looked amazing. His hair was longer now. It was slightly shaggy, but because it was poker straight it didn’t look rumpled or unkempt. She liked how it looked on him, how it accentuated his features. She vividly remembered how it had felt under her hands that night almost two years ago.
He also looked stronger, even broader and more cut. The tight black shirt and tight dark-wash jeans he was wearing just accentuated every muscle and contour and showed off his incredible body. He looked amazing, but it was his eyes that had captured her.
They looked older, if that was even possible. There was a weariness and a confidence that hadn’t been there before. As he’d looked at her she’d also seen shock mixed in with a myriad of other emotions flashing in his eyes.
She didn’t know what to do. A part of her wanted to run away and go home, but another part of her wanted to talk to him again. She wanted to see how he was doing, see what he was up to now, and see if he was happy.
She had no idea why she cared so much about any of that. They hadn’t been friends when they’d hooked up. They hadn’t been friends after. Just because she’d been thinking of him non-stop since that night, it didn’t mean he’d even spared her a second thought after they’d talked in his car.
“Jenna, sweetie?”
“Sorry, what did you say?” She turned to Kaylee and found her friend staring at her.
“I asked if you needed to sit down. You went white for a second there, and I thought you were going to pass out.”
“I’m fine.” She shook her head and tried to force her face to look neutral, since she knew a smile wasn’t going to be possible just then.
“Was it seeing Clay?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting to see him.”
“Are you
still upset about the party?” she asked. “You seemed to have gotten over that.”
“I’m not upset anymore. I just wasn’t expecting to see him.” She desperately tried to find a way to explain why she was acting the way she was without lying. “I haven’t seen him since grad. It’s a little awkward for me.”
“Yeah, running into guys you’ve fucked can be pretty weird. That’s why I keep it out of my residence.”
“What?” Jenna asked as she tried to follow the change in conversation.
“School. I keep my sexploits to guys outside my program and no one in my residence building. With so many students around, the chances of weird run-ins goes way down. That way the awkwardness is cut down.”
“Good plan—wait, did you just say sexploits?”
Kaylee just grinned, and Jenna couldn’t help giggling at the word. It really summed things up.
“You haven’t had a lot of these, have you?”
“A lot of what?”
“Run-ins with ex-flames.”
“This would be my first one.”
“They get easier. You must have good luck, count your blessings.”
“Yeah, really good luck.” She nodded and purposefully neglected to tell Kaylee that other than Clay she’d never had an ex-flame.
The problem with running into him wasn’t just that they’d had sex. It was that they’d had good sex, a really weird and hurtful parting, and then she’d carried his baby for nearly three months while keeping it a secret from everyone. If it had just been the sex and the weird parting she could have dealt with that. It was the other part of the equation she was having trouble with.
She listened with half an ear as Kaylee proceeded to tell her about some of the guys she’d met at school, and about her so-called sexploits. She was glad Kaylee liked to talk almost as much as she liked to focus on herself. She wouldn’t notice Jenna’s inner turmoil and struggle as long as she pretended to listen to everything and interjected the right words here and there. It would give her a chance to think, even though thinking was probably the worst thing she could do right then.
She took a long drink from her bottle and nodded when Kaylee paused in her story. “Oh yeah?” she said and was relieved when Kaylee kept on talking. She took another long drink and stared at Kaylee, not really seeing or hearing her at the moment.
* * * *
Nearly forty-five minutes later her bottle was empty, and Kaylee was still talking. Jenna was feeling a little out of it, and she knew she was on the cusp of getting drunk. She needed to cut herself off.
“Uh-oh, trouble on your twelve.” Kaylee nodded, her eyes fixed on a point over her shoulder.
“Behind me?”
“Yeah.”
She didn’t bother to correct her, she just fought the urge to spin around and tried to calm her breathing. There was only one person at the party Kaylee would warn her about.
“Jenna. Kaylee.”
It wasn’t the voice she’d been expecting, but it was a voice she’d hoped she’d never hear again.
“Tanya, Clay,” Kaylee greeted as Jenna steeled herself and turned around.
“Hi,” she said, managing to keep her voice calm and steady as she looked at them, trying not to see them as she did.
Her eyes fell on their entwined hands, and she looked away.
“How are you? I haven’t seen you since grad,” Tanya said in a bright and very fake voice. “What have you been up to?”
“School.” Kaylee grinned. “Partying and living life. You know how it is.”
“Don’t I ever.” Tanya laughed. “What about you, Jenna?”
“School, you know.”
“Yeah, I’m guessing there’s not a lot of partying in your life. Not now at least.”
She bit her tongue and just shrugged. She wasn’t going to play in to Tanya and her mindfucks.
“I’m crazy busy at school. It’s so nice to come home and relax, hook up with what’s comfortable and familiar.” Tanya glanced over at Clay and grinned at him. “It’s a nice break, if you know what I mean.”
“Do I ever.” Kaylee laughed and shook her head. “Aaron’s just out back with some of the guys from the team, and he’s nice and familiar.”
She didn’t fault Kaylee for keeping the conversation going, but she wished everyone would just shut up, and she really wanted Tanya and Clay to walk away.
She didn’t want to look at them, but she was having a hard time not looking since they were standing right there. Instead she focused on parts of them in order to avoid actually seeing them.
She focused on Tanya’s shoulder as she was speaking and then looked over at Clay’s chest when he cut in.
“Jenna—” he started but was interrupted.
“Oh, how could I have been so silly?” Tanya said loudly, her voice dripping with fake concern. “Things must be weird for you guys, seeing as you hooked up and all. Here I am talking about how we’re together—”
“I have to find a bathroom.” She couldn’t be in this conversation anymore. She needed to get away from Tanya, and she needed to get away from Clay. She couldn’t deal with either of them right now, especially since she was starting to feel a little woozy.
She pushed past them and hurried out of the living room. She knew the stairs were blocked, but there were plenty of rooms on the main floor where she could hide from them.
* * * *
“Excuse us.” He gripped Tanya’s hand a lot tighter than he needed to and pulled her away from Kaylee.
“Hey! Watch it, asshole.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He fought to keep his voice quiet as he glared at her.
“What?”
She was staring up at him defiantly. Even though she was physically beautiful, at that moment her ugly personality was shining through, and he was able to see her in a new light.
“Why would you bring me over to talk to them when you could see she was uncomfortable, and why the fuck would you bring up that party?”
“I wanted to.” She gave him a contemptuous smile and crossed her arms over her chest. “I wanted to see her squirm, and she didn’t disappoint.”
He just stared at her. He knew her well enough to know she could be mean and cruel. She was definitely a bully to those she found weaker or threatening, but he hadn’t realized just how hateful she could be.
“Why? Because we hooked up? Are you so insecure you would target a girl I was with almost two years ago to make yourself feel better about your life?” He shook his head at her. “I’ve fucked other girls, but you haven’t gone after any of them.”
“I’m not insecure,” she shot back. “I know who I am and I get what I want, and she had what I wanted.”
“I’m not your fucking property. We weren’t together then, and we’re not together now.” He was having a really hard time keeping his voice down. He knew people were staring at them, but he didn’t care.
“You’re here with me—”
“Not any more I’m not,” he cut in and put up his hands. “I’m done with you. Lose my number and forget about me.”
“You can’t just decide we’re over—”
“I can and I did.”
“You fucking asshole, how dare you—”
“Goodbye, Tanya. Have a good life.” He turned and walked away from her, ignoring her as she shouted obscenities after him.
He felt about fifty pounds lighter and a lot better about his life, but he was worried about Jenna. He could see Kaylee walking toward the door with Aaron, one of the douchebags from the football team, but he didn’t see Jenna anywhere.
He made his way to the back of the house and found her standing against the wall with her hand over her eyes and a red cup in her hand.
“Jenna?” he asked as he hurried over to her.
“No worries there, Clay. I’ve got her.”
He heard the voice at his elbow and turned to see Zeke, another one of the footba
ll douches standing at his side, grinning as he nodded to Jenna. “I’ll take good care of her.”
“Like hell you will.” He shook his head and moved so he was standing in front of her. “Jen?”
“Back off ass hat, I’ve got this.” Zeke pushed up beside him, and he just turned around, pulling himself up to his full height as he did.
“You’re not going to touch her.” Clay glared at him. “You think you can do whatever you want to her because she’s drunk and you’re sober? That’s fucking sick—”
“Like you’re going to do anything different.”
“Fuck off, Zeke. Stay away from her.”
“Clay?”
He heard his name and turned to look at her. She was drunk; he could see that right away. She was looking at him with a mix of confusion and sadness.
“I’m going to get you out of here, Jenna.” He moved to her side, ignoring Zeke and the small crowd that was watching him.
She put her hand out, and he took the cup from her with one hand and grabbed her around the waist with the other as she started to slip down the wall slightly. He glanced in the cup and saw there was only about a sip of whatever had been in there. He sniffed it and then drank the rest down. He needed to know what she’d had.
It was rum, and there was no mix in it. He tossed the cup aside and held her against his body as he led her through the house.
It took a bit of time to track down her coat and then get his, but he managed to get them both dressed and started to help her outside.
He half expected someone to stop him, to call him a rapist and maybe beat him, but everyone just watched them.
If Kaylee had still been around, he would have gotten her to take care of Jenna, but she was nowhere to be found and Jenna needed to get out of here. She was getting more and more unsteady on her feet as he helped her over to his car, and by the time he’d loaded her into the front seat she was too drunk to help him do up her seatbelt.
“Oh come on,” he muttered as he pulled up in front of the house. Every single light was off, and there were no cars in the driveway. “Jenna? Jen, is anyone home at your house right now?”
“No,” she said in a weak voice. “Mom and Dad are out, and Dan’s in the city tonight.”